Dry Academia but Slightly Wetter Hotel Antics

at "Sexology" Conference [Original]

I just got home from the annual meeting and 50th-anniversary celebration of the Society for the Scientific Study of Sexuality (SSSS, a/k/a "Quad S," at sexscience.org).

You'd think that attending a conference of sex researchers, therapists, and academics would be pretty freakin' fun, especially with titillating symposium titles like "I'll Take 'Nipples' for $1,000, Alex" and "Student Judgments Concerning the Sexually Explicit DVD American Bukkake 14."

But in most of the sessions I went to, complex statistics, dry presentations, and boring analyses were more common than provocative topics and engaging presenters.

I'm all for super-duper sex brainiacs (sex nerds make me hot), but the event felt like any standard academic gathering—the presentations just happened to be on masturbation, barebacking, and sex work.

Some of the research was undeniably interesting, like studies on gender and sexual coercion, sex and emerging technologies, and female erotic response.

But there was a wide gap between what the academics were inquiring into and theorizing about. Too much sexual dysfunction, not enough function.

But all was not LOst! I want you to know that some fun was had in Indy!

I had dinner with a friend I hadn't seen in years, a kinky tranny guy and master knife-maker who lives in Indianapolis.

He told me that there was a big s/m party happening, one of the biggest of the year in the city.

A few of the people I knew at the conference were kinky, so I passed along the info. Within hours, about 15 people came by, whispering, "I heard there was a party tonight. . . . "

See, that's the other interesting thing: With all these folks interested in sex research and discourse, only a small percentage are sex radicals or alternative-sex practitioners of some kind. Or at least only a small percentage are willing to be out about it.

I'd been wondering: Where were all the swinger sexologists? Anyway, I had somehow become troop leader of this spontaneous Perv Scout field trip, taking their names and admittance fees and arranging the carpooling. So we all headed out to a nearby chain hotel.

The local organization throwing the party, Indiana Masters and Slaves/Submissives/Switches, had taken over a large ballroom and transformed it into a dungeon, a social space with demos, and a small area for vendors.

Everyone I met—from the woman at the door, to the hostess who gave us a tour, to the gentleman who offered to lend me some toys to play with—was warm and gracious.

Our little group of out-of-town sex geeks came in three waves, but eventually everyone arrived. They scattered around, some watching others play, some getting right into the action.

I saw a hot sexologist flog another hot sexologist in the only male/male coupling in the room.

Much to my delight, I spotted a professor (whose two papers I'd heard and enjoyed that weekend) pressed up against the wall, a well-known sexologist pinning her there and kissing her.

She ended up splayed on a spanking bench when a flogger appeared, and the two were off to the races. Nice to see sex geeks who practice what they research.

The next morning, just before the 9 a.m. sessions, I was headed to hear a paper about, among other things, "teledildonics" (sex toys controlled by computers and software) when I ran into nearly everyone from our dungeon-party adventure.

They stood among their colleagues, who gripped small coffee cups and discussed a fundraising auction they'd enjoyed the night before; all my cohorts had rosy glows and slightly devious smiles.

I even saw the professor who'd been pinned against the wall lugging her suitcase behind her.

I'm not sure which session she was headed to: "A Meta-Analytic Review of Gender Differences in Sexuality"? "Understanding Heterosexual Women's Same-Sex Encounters at College Parties"?

I wanted to tell her how beautiful she'd looked surrendering to that man, but we were headed in opposite directions, so we simply exchanged big grins and went on our way.

All this Theory - Where's the Practice? [Original]

Don't just tickle his pickle

- migrate and vibrate to your own

personal pleasure zones.

About 100 women and a few men piled into Bell Memorial Union, Room 210 on Nov. 7 for a female sexuality workshop put on by the Women's Center for its annual Women's Bodies Week.

The two-hour workshop highlighted the female physiological pleasure zones while discussing healthy and safe ways to use sex toys to increase arousal for maximum enjoyment.

The sold-out event was aimed at educating students to appreciate themselves and keep an open mind about sexuality, said senior Becki Lee, program coordinator for the event.

"If you find something pleasurable, you don't need to hide it," Lee said. "Sex with toys and masturbation shouldn't be taboo."

The sex workshop was a great way to "loosen up the air" and talk about what everyone was thinking in a sex-positive environment, she said.

The sexual education workshop attracted about 10 males, an increase from two or three last year, Lee said.

Freshman David Khull was one of the male students who came to the workshop out of curiosity after hearing about it in a class, he said.

"It was interesting and very unique," Khull said. "I hadn't heard of half the vocabulary used today."

Although the workshop was directed toward the female body and pleasure zones, it touched lightly on male pleasure points and arousal.

The information presented was important to know for both experienced and inexperienced students, Khull said.

"It broadens your horizon, that's for sure," he said. "From what I gathered foreplay is good, and stimulation is a must."

Feeling awkward in the beginning, the audience's enthusiasm and smaller group discussions helped relieve tension and make things comfortable, Khull said.

Busting out a large purple and gold vagina hand puppet, sex educator Yvonne Piper explained the female anatomy from a pleasure perspective.

With the puppet in action, Piper openly discussed topics such as clitoris facts and pleasure, how to find the G-spot, female ejaculation, orgasms, and safe and healthy information about anal sex.

With the male anatomy briefly discussed, Piper got the crowd even more enthusiastic by revealing her sex toy table full of dildos and vibrators.

Working as a sex educator for 10 years at San Francisco's women-friendly sex toy shop Good Vibrations, Piper was pleasantly surprised by the large turnout, she said.

Making the three-hour drive to Chico, Piper wanted to educate active adults about health issues at the college level and deconstruct notions of "normalized behavior."

"It's funny that the farther away from San Francisco, the more interesting and exciting audiences you get," Piper said.

The biggest thing she hoped to teach the crowd was the idea that if something kinky doesn't do much for one person, to not knock or judge it because someone else may get off on it, she said.

"I always say 'Don't yuck someone's yum,'" she said.

Junior and Women's Center Program Coordinator Jackey Humphrey-Straub didn't yuck the opportunity to attach a strap-on dildo over her clothes in front of everyone.

Thrusting her arm in the air when Piper asked for a volunteer, Humphrey-Straub was eager to try something new, she said.

"Wearing it was pretty cool," she said. "It was neat to have a penis for a few minutes, but it felt weird having something between your legs."

Never considering using a strap-on before, Humphrey-Straub liked being in an environment able to talk about the reality of sex, she said.

Since talking about sex in class or with a large group of people is generally brushed upon lightly, she liked the ability and comfort of "getting down and dirty about it," she said.

The straightforward awareness and attitude toward pleasurable female sexuality is just one element of Women's Bodies Week.

A sexual diversity panel followed up the sex workshop Thursday night. The panel included gay and heterosexual men and women, and one transgender, who discussed sexuality and sensuality in society, Lee said.

Women's Bodies Week celebrates the diversity of all types of women and breaks down the ideal of needing to be society's perfect model to be empowered, she said.

"With a history of being suppressed, it's important for women to take time to say 'You're beautiful,'" Lee said.

tags: sex  theory  practice  teaching  masturbation  

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